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What ruins the child-rearing?

Ubqari Magazine - March 2016

Some children don’t have interest in their homework. They start working when the parents make them to do so, but start getting around after a while. The solution is short breaks for relaxation. Short breaks are must for not only studying but all those jobs which require mental activities.

The reason for lack of self confidence in the children:

The children who are loved by their parents and receive appropriate attention from their parents respond to them in same manner and don’t want to give their parents an opportunity for complain. Contrary to that, the strict behavior of parents makes their kids rebel. Parents should become strict only to the extent that is necessary to bring reform in the kids. Unnecessary restrictions make the offspring stubborn and rude. As a result, mostly, when they grow up they reach to the point of no return. Most of the time the father starts shouting on minor mistakes or disregard them in front of other family members instead of reforming them in a soft way. This behave brings about strong sense of inferiority.

Many times, the children forget their lesson in the school only because of fear. They fear that probably the teacher would behave in the same strict manner as their parents do in the home. And with a passage of time this fear grows up. These children often have exceptional abilities but lack of confidence badly impact on their personalities and abilities. When they grow up with the feeling of inferiority it occupies their personality and daily life badly. For instance, they can’t speak fluently or with confidence.

These days the key reason of inferiority in the kids is conflicts between the parents. Clashes and exchange of hard words in front of kids fills the innocent hearts with fear and they become nervous. Their teachers also have complained about such children as they terms such students as rude and disobedient. Such kids have misconception about their teachers as they think that why their teachers may be sincere to them while stopping them with wrongdoings where their parents don’t bother to stop them. Regardless of difference between parents and teachers, one must admit that parents might ruin the character of their children whereas the teachers build their character. When kids know about this fact they accept their fault and beg for pardon. But this leaves a sense of guilt in them and they underestimate themselves.

I beg to all parents to don’t scold their innocent children particularly daughters and don’t isolate them, as these daughters are mercy from almighty Allah. Those parents who are going to part their ways should consider about the future of their kids. Because at that crucial stage their decisions can either develop or ruin the future of their children.  (Zaiton Shehnaz, Chishtian)

Children’s Homework and Special Provision for parents

As per a western education expert, the purpose of giving homework to child is to let him realize that getting education is limited not only to school but also in the home. In other words it’s parent’s responsibility to look after the children whether they are paying attention on their homework or not.

Some children don’t have interest in their homework. They start working when the parents make them to do so, but start getting around after a while. The solution is short breaks for relaxation. Short breaks are must for not only studying but all those jobs which require mental activities. It has proven that a short break for mere five minutes after the session of homework of thirty or more minutes gives amazing results. On other hand extension in this short break or frequent breaks may cause diversion in child’s attention from studies to other leisure activities. Sometimes, to get rid of the homework, some children tell lie as they didn’t receive homework. In that case, the parents should regularly check the homework diary to find the truth. Sometimes, children don’t pay attention to their homework only because they did not understand what they had been taught in school on that day.

Therefore, the completion of homework is the way to let the parents and teachers determine the ability of child over the syllabus. Parents should realize the importance of homework. When the child comes back from the school, he has to perform two duties. Firstly, he has to do homework and secondly, doing homework without help of teachers. As a result he learns self-regulation.

Some Useful Tips:

If being a parent, you realize that child need your assistance in his homework then do as per below:

Extend sufficient time to child for doing homework. Release him from other duties if you feel these will overburden him and let him focus on homework only when you see that he needs more time to finish it.

Let the child do his homework at the place of his choice. Some children like to work on table and chair while other prefer to sit on the carpet or on the floor.

Dedicate a place in your home for study where there should be no noise of family members and entertainment appliances such as television or audio system etc. Parents should prefer to do their home based work or reading books in the study room with their kids. This environment will help your child to develop passion and emphasize on the work. Remember! Children always follow their parents.          (Alia Begum, Lahore)

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