Professor Mamoona Kareem, Lahore
To get control over emotions and enhancing your natural authoritative strength, one should keep in mind that no one can get permanent escape from the situations, and we cannot get everything according to our choice, everything cannot be the way we want things to be.
"Life is not a bed of roses"... It is a common proverb which we listen from each other very often. If considered it thoroughly, it is a reality as life carries a lot of angles. It is not a road which is smoothly made by engineers according to a given plan instead it is a path which has many ups and downs, thick and thins. Sometimes you feel happy and sometimes upset. The smallest and the biggest changes taking place in life affect you; not only the changes that are related to you individually but also the changes that take place in our surroundings can affect our feelings and emotions. Everything has an affect according to its nature and our attitudes are reflective of these effects.
Anger, harsh words, irritation, displeasure, disturbance in mood, agitation, misery and shock are the feelings which every one of us experience at some point in some form. Health experts agree on the point that if the humans are unable to stop effecting themselves with these feelings and if they have no authoritative command over controlling these feelings, then the mental, physical and social health gets affected; even at times, some situations, misery, pains and shock take the lives of people. You have heard the news that the old mother died after knowing about the death of his son in an accident the other day. The incidents of heart attack are common due to bad news. The incidents of falling unconscious over bad or painful news are common example in our daily life. Why this happens? It is very important to know about the ways to control our negative feelings and emotions to some limit. At least, we should have a command on ourselves that we should not go too far that it becomes difficult to come back.
To get control over emotions and enhancing your natural authoritative strength, one should keep in mind that no one can get permanent escape from the situations, and we cannot have everything according to our choice, everything cannot be the way we want things to be as there are many people who do not want things the way we want. Everyone has his own way of thinking about life, the common way is to learn to face the situations and fight with the circumstances. We should make ourselves flexible and accommodating to stay safe from negative feelings and emotions like extreme pain, disappointment and related emotions. For this we will discuss some reasons which are connected to us often or we can face them at any point in our life.
Inferiority complex: what is inferiority complex? Having the wish of getting something and not able to get it gives some feelings which are named as inferiority complex. These emotions are of many types. One form of this is like something which is our right but others have either occupied our right or we are not using it due to them. It can be like we want something which is not available to us but the same thing is available to others and they are ordinary people like us, then why we are deprived of the same things? We think that some of them do not deserve those things but still they are taking benefit. Such kind of inferiority complex is commonly seen in our society. In fact if we analyze our emotions transparently, we can realize that most of the things we are thinking are imaginary or assumed. Our inferiority complex can be based on a hypothesis or it can only be a part of our own thinking. The people having inferiority complex are mostly those who do not realize that what they have is more important than what they do not have. People seem anxious even after having so many things for the sake of getting those things without which the life can be peaceful and relax. For such people, psychiatrists stress on the need of being thankful on what they have. One should not waste small events of being happy for the sake of getting big events of happiness; never consider the life of others as ideal. The life is ideal which you are spending. Try to find your happiness within your resources. With this effort, you will be the happiest person and think that you were wearing the mask of disappointment uselessly. You will feel that you are better than thousands. If Allah almighty has given you health, then you are blessed and it is a reason to be happy and satisfied. Inferiority complex cannot change the situations and you should keep in mind that situations only change when you make efforts to change them. Thinking solely cannot change something; practical steps are needed to change anything. No matter how good you are thinking and how ideal is your thinking, the change will come only if you have put some practical efforts, till then your ideas are useless. When you have done every effort and things are not going your way then why you are being agitated on this? When you will realize this fact then your agitation will reduce and still if you are in same condition then discuss your complexes with your friends and share your heartfelt thoughts to lighten your heart's burden. May be you can get peace of mind and heart after sharing your feelings with any one.
Feelings of guilt: To err is human and we do mistakes throughout life and learn from these mistakes. Such mistakes sometimes become source of embarrassment for us. When the feelings of embarrassment go beyond limit then one remain constantly anxious and disturbed. This emotion also has several forms. If your mistake is of low level, then your level of worry and embarrassment shall be low but if someone has taken life of a human did embezzlement of thousands of rupees, corruption in national or state treasures... then at this stage, he will feel burden on himself according to his deeds. However, if you are embarrassed on some small issue and that issue is worthy to be worried then the mistake can be overcome. For example, if you have hurt someone and you are disturbed over it then you can apologize with the concerned person to settle down everything.