(Letters of stressed and oppressed families and the positive answers)

How is it possible?

I was talkative since my childhood and due to this habit I was often interrupted by teachers in my school. Then during my college life, my habit continued and now I got job in a bank after graduation.

To continue with my habit, I take time during my all day routine at my workplace and start talking about things. I have felt that no one directly says anything to me about this habit but they laugh at me while looking at each other; it was not merely my doubt but it was a reality that every one smiles at me when I ask anything. Almost everyone is elder than me and help in my work but do not show affection like my family members and relatives. I shared this situation with my mother and she advised me to talk less, now how is it possible that such a talkative girl should maintain silence? (Farah; Lahore)

Advice: It is true that changing habits is a difficult task but with some effort it can be made possible. You are habitual of unnecessary talking; by managing some time during your work hours make firm commitment with yourself that you should focus on your work especially during office hours. There are many advantages of maintaining silence, for example unnecessary talking wastes energy and if saved, this energy can be useful in making your performance better in performing official duties, it saves time, enhances concentration, there is respect for those who talk less as people pay less attention to those who talk more and pay attention towards those who talk less, those talking less are considered as civilized and wise.Respect people at workplace but do not expect affection from them like you expect from family members.

For how long I should pull on relationships?

I am mother of three daughters of over 30 years of age and two sons elder than my daughters. Due to the unmarried status of the daughters, my sons are also not getting married and In fact I am stressed over the marriage issue of my daughters of growing age and for this reason I did not pay much attention towards marriages of my sons. There is an uncomfortable situation at the home as my daughters and sons have left attending others’ marriages. For how long I can pull on relationships alone? Sometimes it seems that all of us have become psychological patients. (Seema, Karachi)

Advice: Those who spend life against nature, go away from normal life at some point in their life. Disconnecting from people and do not attending their happiness or sorrows is reflective of spending an unhealthy life. Your should take care of the marriages of your sons side by side thinking about your daughters as there is a possibility when your family will meet different people, you can get better proposals for your daughters for their marriage. It is observed that mostly people do not think about the marriage of their sons when there are unmarried daughters, which is a wrong concept. You should not do this and arrange the marriages of your sons when you get any better options, in the meanwhile, you will get better proposals for your daughters’ marriages.

They should listen to me!!!!!

My elder sister fixed my marriage with my first cousin and said they are landlord and you will have a happier life, my mother became happy with these views but I became tensed as I never liked that person and also I have no likes for anyone else as I am studying now. After completing my graduation, I will think about marriage. Before this my sister’s marriage was supposed to be fixed there, that person is short heighted with more weight and dark complexion, he has less hair on head and he is also less qualified. When this proposal was offered for my elder sister, she cried a lot and my father refused to this proposal but now my sister fixed my marriage here after 5 years. I have refused several times. My mother has gone to meet my auntie since two days and there are my two brothers at home who do not communicate with me. I took sleeping pills but my life remained safe. (S – Islamabad)

Advice:Both the bride and groom should be agreed for marriage, if the groom agrees and bride is not than the marriage cannot be legal. Do not think aboutending your life by committing suicide in future as the act of suicide is forbidden and considered as a murder, the murdered and the murderer is the same person at the same time in this act. Islam discourages and forbids any such act which makes injustice to human life. Hazrat Abu Huraira (R.A) says referring Prophet Muhammed (SAWAW), “whosoever kills himself by jumping from a mountain, will be thrown from a mountain in hell and will live in hell forever, whosoever takes poison for ending his life and committed suicide in this way, will have a bowl of poison in his hand in hell and will live forever in hell and whosoever kills himself with a metal tool, will have that tool in his hand in hell and will keep on killing himself and live in hell forever.”

Do not take any step in this temporary life that will spoil your life in the hereafter. This is life and every one faces troubles and worries but mentally strong people solve their troubles and worries in a positive way, they do not harm themselves like losers do. From now onwards, you should not consider yourself as weak and distressed. If you do not like this proposal, refuse for this bluntly. If your family members are not agreeing with you, then involve some other elder of your family; you have full right of refusal and there is nothing bad in asking for your right.

Beneficial prescription for heart disease

Put the hand on heart and recite 111 times

  سُبْحَانْ اَللہِ وَبِحَمْدِہٖ

Inshallah it will benefit

For Theft and Prevention from the demons

Before going to sleep recite Bismillah

21 times to get prevention from theft, demons and sudden death, (Qasim Hassan,Chakwal)