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Got my love at the cost of parents’ dissent and ruined myself!

Ubqari Magazine - April 2019

Success knocks only once but trouble bangs your door several times a day!!!

I took the advantage of my parents’ weakness and got married. I used to feel like I had got my love and that I was blessed with the happiness of the entire world, I was the luckiest girl on the earth and one of the few people who get their love.

Respected Hakim Sahib, Us Salam Alaikum! I pray to Allah from the core of my heart that He may bless you and your family with long life and protect your generations, Amen. Last year I got married, it was a love marriage. My mother never wanted me to do this. We have had an illegitimate relationship for seven years and then we got married. I married out of cast. I would like to share with the readers the circumstances in which our marriage was arranged. Since I was already in a relationship with my husband, he used to say that he had to go to Dubaiand would not be able to return before three years so we should get married. I gathered courage and talked to my mother. She said, “I cannot arrange for your marriage at this time. Your father is jobless, we are unable to make both ends meet and you are thinking of your marriage.” I had become so insane that I replied her very rudely, “Ok! Then don’t arrange my marriage I will elope with him and do court marriage.” The moment I uttered these words my mother was so deeply shocked that she became still. She was looking at me with her eyes aghast and full of tears. She wiped her tears with her dupatta and said only this, “No dear! Don’t do this, let your father come home at night, I will talk to him.” my father was a laborer. Whenever he got some work, we had our meal or else we slept hungry. This had been the tale of our family since years. The night when my father came to know about my story, I don’t know what my parents discussed with each other. I kept waiting about my father’s decision for me. Half of the night had gone; suddenly my father entered my room alone. It seemed he had been crying for long. He put his hand on my head with his head down and angry looks saying, “Daughter! I will arrange your marriage with whomever and wherever you want but don’t bring disrespect to me, what else do I have?” I don’t know why I had become so hard-hearted that I jumped in excitement, embraced my father, picked my mobile (that was given to me by my husband and I showed it for the first time to my parents taking out from under my pillow) and shared this good news with my future husband. I took the advantage of my parents’ weakness and got married. I used to feel like I had got my love and that I was blessed with the happiness of the entire world, I was the luckiest girl on the earth and one of the few people who get their love. 

                                       Actually it was my worst mistake. Hardships, disgrace, hunger, fights, domestic violence and wandering from door to door were awaiting me. I didn’t get the prayers of my parents; rather I had to bear the repercussion of the evil I did with them. These repercussions follow me and now I recall the helplessness and shock of my parents. I am deprived of sleep. I am still childless by Allah’s will. My husband is jobless and I am dying of hunger. The person who kept me trapped for seven years in the deception of love beats me for no reason. He buries the funeral of my love by beating me with stick and shoes. My mother-in-law treats me so disgustingly that it’s hard to describe. They always call me with cheap abusive names. Even my hands are trembling while writing all this.

                                                               My elder sister and brother-in-law tried to make me realize a few hours before my marriage that I should not do this or else I will be ruined. That I shouldn’t make my parents angry and marry someone of their choice so that Allah bless me. But I didn’t listen to anyone. Today I am helpless, I cry and shout but nobody is there to help me. I cannot share my grief with my parents. I request all my sisters and brothers who read this that don’t ever make such mistake. It’s just a time pass and nothing else. Life after marriage is totally different. Don’t ever make such a big life decision using your limited wisdom, always respect your parents’ opinion. Take their prayers and leave your home under the protection of their prayers. I am ruined but for God’s sake, no daughter or sister should ever make such a mistake. I know that many of my sisters will not learn any lesson from my story because I did the same but may be someone understands that whosoever is away from religion will be ruined. Keeping friendship with strangers and making illegitimate relationship and hurting your parents is all being distant from religion. There is no such permission in the Islamic Jurisdiction. Let’s be careful and secure our lives and hereafter. (Anonymous)

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