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I curse my parents day and night! Know why

Ubqari Magazine - September 2018

I have also started feeling hatred for her due to her behavior. My parents’ bad intentions and my father’s illegitimate earning is the cause of all this disaster. They never planned to do something good for their daughters. Even now they don’t want us to get married.

Respected Hakim Sahib, Assalam Alaikum! May Allah always protect you and bestow upon you and your family the best of all the blessings in this world and hereafter, amen. Sometime ago, I read Ubqari magazine on internet. Then I started buying it monthly from the hawker. I started downloading and listening to your lectures from Ubqari website, it changed my heart altogether. It brought peace to the restlessness of my life. I want to let you know that my life is very upset. My father was a government officer and he never bothered about the legitimacy of his earning. This unlawful earning laid the foundation of our hardships. We are seven siblings, four sisters and three brothers. Our brothers and two sisters got married but our mother didn’t let me and other sister tomarry. She thought that we will look after our parents. At last, at the age of forty, I myself contacted a lady running a marriage bureau. She helped me in my marriage. My elder brother is a careless person; he didn’t enquire much about the family and accepted the proposal. After my marriage, I came to know that my in-laws told many lies just to marry their son. My husband didn’t have any proper job; previously he had been involved in drinking and selling alcohol. He was very bad mannered. Even then, I tried my best to manage with him but he forced me to leave his home. I was pregnant; the doctor diagnosed two egg size cysts in my uterus which were growing large with the baby and because of this, it was difficult for the baby to survive. My in-laws provoked my husband saying that I already knew about those cysts and I didn’t let him know intentionally. In fact I was unaware of my problem but he finally sent me back to my parents. My mother was happy that I will eventually be divorced because my parents didn’t want me to get married. Then I had a baby boy who was very weak due to cysts and he died after thirteen days. Right after three days of my baby’s death my husband divorced me on a phone call. My baby was born through caesarean section. After six months, I had to go through another surgery and the doctors removed fourteen cysts of various sizes from my uterus. My parents and we two sisters live in a big city in my brother’s home that is located in a posh and expensive area. One of my brothers lives in Europe along with his family. He takes good care of us and sends us money regularly. But we have severe disagreements and quarrels in home. My mother doesn’t want me to get married again. Once someone sent a reasonable proposal for me but my mother silently refused them saying that she was already considering someone else for me, so that they don’t ask again. My younger sister is forty three years old. She is also unmarried and because of this she has become extremely hostile and annoying. She fights with everyone and especially me. Every time she keeps reproaching and abusing me. Our differences are so intense that she cooks separately for herself though we are only four family members. One of my brothers lives in the upper portion with his family. It’s been four years that she is angry with me and because of her bad behavior; I have also started feeling hatred for her. My parents’ bad intentions and my father’s illegitimate earning is the cause of all this disaster. They never planned to do something good for their daughters. Even now they don’t want us to get married.

I, my sisters and brothers have always been facing hardships in our lives. I wish my father had earned lawfully and my mother would have planned sincerely for our future, considering us her daughters but not servants. I am forty five years old; I have passed through my childhood and young age, my hair has turned grey. Even now my mother feels very bad if someone sends a marriage proposal for us. Please tell us what should we do? Where should we go? Which way should we adopt? We are also human beings; we also have dreams and emotions. We feel jealous when we see someone happy. I am thankful to Allah for protecting us from evils. I also attended your Dars (lecture) held in our city. I feel that it is Allah’s mercy and blessing upon me that I found Ubqari. Kindly make special prayers for me and my sister that may Allah remove our troubles. I perform practices that you share in your lectures. I also have downloaded and listened many of your lectures. I wish to have my own home where I live with my own family, perform Hajj and Umrah, do charity, enjoy life with my family and take care of them. Isn’t it true that my parents played a big role in my disaster? I beg all the parents not to destroy their children’s lives. Do their upbringing according to Islamic values with lawful earning. And arrange their marriages carefully at appropriate age. (Anonymous)

Blessings of spending on your family at Yaum-e-Ashoor (tenth day of Muharram)

      Hazrat Abdullah Bin Masud (رضی اللہ عنہ) narrates that Prophet Muhammad (ﷺ) said, “Whoever increases the sustenance of their family on Yaum-e-Ashoor, Allah Subhana wa Taala will increase his sustenance for the whole year” (Masabit Min-As-Sunnah Ashhar-ul-Haram, page 17). Experience: Hazrat Sufyan Sauri (رحمت اللہ علیہ) says, “We experienced it and found the same” (Mishkat Sharif, page 170) Hazrat Mahboob Subhani Qutub Rabbani (رحمت اللہ علیہ): Hzarat Abdul Qadir Jillani (رحمت اللہ علیہ) writes in his book “Ghanya-tu-Talibeen” volume 2, page 54, that Hazrat Sufyan Sauri (رحمت اللہ علیہ) said, “We practiced it for fifty years and always found ample sustenance”. Similarly, Allama Manawi (رحمت اللہ علیہ) writes in Faiz-ul-Qadeer, volume 6 page 236 that Hazrat Jabir (رضی اللہ عنہ) said “We tried it and found it correct” and Hazrat Ainiyah (رحمت اللہ علیہ) says that we tried it for almost fifty to sixty years and always got ample sustenance. 

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