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Guaranteed ways for becoming a successful wife

Ubqari Magazine - March 2016

(Prof. Majid Ali Kamali)

Almighty Allah has not created woman in vain, she has been vested with an important responsibility instead; raising and educating children. Holy Prophet Muhammad ﷺ said, “Every one of you is a guardian and is responsible for his/ her charges.” Woman, too, is answerable owing to her important place in society. She is answerable in every capacity; being mother, sister, wife and daughter. Being wife, she is responsible for the following affairs. Holy Prophet Muhammad ﷺ once said, “Woman is guardian of her husband’s household and his children and she will be held accountable in this regard.” Wife negligent to her duties disobeys Allah’s commandments. Wife must respect her husband, raise children and protect her husband’s wealth. Almighty Allah says, “Man rules in a household and is superior to woman for he spends his wealth.” Pious and obedient woman guards the household in the absence of her husband and shoulders the responsibilities Almighty Allah has vested her with.” A woman must respect her husband and must not disobey him. Hazrat Abu Hurraira   رضی اللہ عنہ   narrates that Holy Prophet Muhammad ﷺ­ said, “If I were to allow you to prostrate other than Allah Almighty, I would have allowed women to prostrate their husbands.” Husband is implied as an allegorical god.

Best wife is the one who proves herself to her husband a source of pleasure, happiness and delight and does not render him any discomfort with her speech or behavior. Wife must obey her husband and must disobey when he commands her to do things against Allah’s and His Prophet’s teachings. She must politely correct her husband and guide him about Islamic teachings and commandments. She must attract her husband with service and obedience. Holy Prophet Muhammad ﷺ said, “May Allah bless the lady who herself wakes up for Tahajjud prayer and wakes her husband too; and if husband does not wake up, sprinkles water to wake him up.” A good wife takes care of her husband, respects him, loves his family, wins husband’s love, takes into account his likes and dislikes and presents herself in the manner her husband likes. Holy Prophet Muhammad ﷺ said, “It is not permissible for a woman to keep supererogatory fast prior her husband’s permission and let anybody enter home while her husband is away.” Hazrat Um e Salma رضی اللہ عنہ  narrates that once Holy Prophet Muhammad ﷺ said, “The woman who dies in a state her husband was happy to her will enter paradise.” It means that a woman whose husband is angry to her will have tormenting hereafter. Woman must never think herself a salve of her husband but the best, sincere, loyal and respectful friend. She must teach children to respect their father. Hazrat Maaz Bin Jabl رضی اللہ عنہ narrates that Holy Prophet Muhammad ﷺ said, “When a woman renders pain to her husband, that man’s wife among Houris curses that woman saying, “Soon this man will leave you and come to us.”” It is binding upon woman to obey her husband. Wives of Holy Prophet Muhammad ﷺ  sacrificed a lot for their husband. Hazrat Khadija رضی اللہ عنہا  sacrificed all her wealth for Holy Prophet Muhammad ﷺ and remained obedient to him all her life. She remained with Holy Prophet Muhammad ﷺ   through every thick and thin. She always encouraged her husband. Hazrat Ayesha Siddiqua رضی اللہ عنہا remained obedient to Holy Prophet Muhammad ﷺ  all her life and spent her life teaching and serving religion. Wives of Holy Prophet Muhammad ﷺ preferred leading simple life with Holy Prophet Muhammad ﷺ    Biographies of female companions of Holy Prophet Muhammad ﷺ are marked with greatness. Our women need to follow such pious women. A woman is required to cover her husband’s shortcomings. Holy Quran states, “You are clothes to each other.” Like clothes hide one’s body, a wife must cover her husband’s shortcomings and must not tell others. She must observe patience, for sure; Allah will do well to her. Pious woman always covers her husband’s shortcomings telling others that her husband is the best husband, like a dress which beautifies one’s personality. A wife must not be obdurate for it will affect upbringing of children making them not learn polite manners. Bad habits of wife spoil the environment of house and incur loss. Once Holy Prophet Muhammad  ﷺasked his beloved daughter Fatima رضی اللہ عنہا, “My beloved daughter, what are the traits of a Muslim lady?” She replied, “Respected father! She must obey Allah and His Prophet, be kind to her children, lower her gaze, keep herself hidden from the eyes of marriage-able (Ghair-Mehram), she must not look at others, and must not let others look at her.” Holy Prophet Muhammad ﷺ   was pleased over her answer. Wife must also protect her husband’s wealth and must not spend his money on useless things. She must not maintain relationship with the person her husband dislikes and must not let him/ her come home. An incident of Salaf al Salifeen is famous in which two wives of son of Holy Prophet Abraham علیہ السلام  are mentioned. Once Holy Prophet Abraham علیہ السلام went to see his son and found him not at home. Upon asking his daughter-in-law about the household situation, she started complaining about her husband and of the limited financial resources. Prophet Abraham علیہ السلام left the following message for his son, “Dear Son, threshold of your house is weak, and you better demolish it.” Upon receiving and comprehending the message Hazrat Ismail علیہ السلام divorced his wife. Holy Prophet Abraham علیہ السلام met his new daughter-in-law next year. Upon inquiring the same she started praising her husband and expressed love for him. Holy Prophet Abraham  علیہ السلام left the following message for his son, Son, threshold of your house is strong. When Hazrat Ismail  علیہ السلام came back to home his wife told the entire story, Hazrat Ismail  علیہ السلامunderstood the thing and happy and told that He was my father. The woman who hides her husbands everything then his doorsteps will be strong and that woman is sincere and trustful. Now we know that those woman who doesnot hide his husband bad attitude he is not able to live with husband and good wife is that who has patience and grateful and respect his husband and caregiving in front of others.

Prophet Muhammad صلی اللہ علیہ وسلم said that “when a man called his wife for his need then she should come to him; even she is busy in cooking roti”. Woman is not carabine, subdue and oppressed rather than respectful and she should increase her value, killing her ego and selfness she can get her values, make her home peaceful and environment happier. Don’t fight and away bitter because this make life vapid and unwieldy. I pray to Allah that makes every sister do these practice, that they will be obedient for themselves and for their relatives. 

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