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Husband’s cry as he Longs for his wife’s smile

Ubqari Magazine - March 2019

Respected Hakeem Sahab AslamoAlikum! Readers, before stating this incident, I would like to tell you that even though a married couple’s relationship is very beautiful, long lasting and strong, it is also very sensitive too. As all of you know that the first relationship that was formed in this world was the one of husband and wife and even this Jannah, the same relationship will be present. Islam has clearly stated all the rights of husband and wife but since this incident about husband’s rights, I will be focusing on it here.

Hazrat Muhammad (ﷺ) said: “If Allah ever gave the permission to prostrate before anyone except Him, I would have asked the wife to prostrate before their husband.”

Respected readers, there a lot of other Ahadees and incidents regarding this topic to which majority is aware of but I am quite surprised how women (not all of them but majority) seems to think how the most complete and perfect person in this world is their father, world’s most upset husband is  her brother, world’s most beautiful person is her son, the luckiest one is her sister’s husband and world’s most greediest, selfish, hate worthy and useless person is her own husband. But why is this? Some wives hold up their angry for a person who works all day long with such dedication solely for his wife and children. He leaves his own rest and works so he can provide all the rest to his wife and children and to fulfill their desires. He works regardless of day and night to provide them with all the livelihood facilities. They consume food earned by the husband and they wear clothes provided by his earnings and still all they have is anger for them. Such angry is not understandable by me at all.

I request all of such sisters to kindly value their husbands. Their smile on their husband’s return to home will eventually end all of his day long tiredness. This incident is for all those women who hate their husbands and are unaware of their husband’s rights. I feel the same loss in my own home and so I know how it feels when your wife doesn’t behaves properly. The incident is as such that my grandfather used to tell us that they took a woman’s body for burial to the graveyard. After burial, they walked back. They had gone just two kilometers far that they saw fire sparks rising and touching the sky. Everyone got worried and concerned and they thought that maybe a house has been burnt. Therefore, everyone went back and saw that no house was on fire rather the fire sparks were rising from the grave of the woman whom they had just buried. Everyone sat there, asked for her forgiveness to Allah and recited Quran. On returning someone asked her husband (who was a farmer) about her wife and what did she used to do that that her grave is on fire. Upon hearing this, the husband took a long cold sigh and told them that she always used to fight with him. When he used to work in the fields, she used to bring food for him which she threw at him like one serves a dog. She used to abuse him and walked away. My fellows who used to sit with me used to watch all this and questioned me of why do not I say her anything. I used to tell them that I have left all of my matter in the hands of Allah and waited patiently. Time passed and now after her death Allah has shown what He does to women who behave badly with their husbands and do not fulfill their rights. May Allah give us the ability to respect each other, Ameen.

A marriage home is a happy one but how does it becomes a tale of destruction? 

The worries of daughter’s wedding starts right after she is born. Parents often consider them to be someone else’s and so they bring them up with love and care. Marriage is a beautiful relationship. Every parent wishes to celebrate the wedding of his or her children with pride. Marriage is not just a custom but instead it is the beginning of a new life. Before wedding, some women are not even aware of the word ‘patience’ but after marriage women has to stay patient in order to maintain happiness in her house. Both, the wife and the husband have to face new difficulties and happy/sad moments in their new life. A woman often has to make a lot of scarifies and compromises in order to maintain the relationship. When a woman gets married, a lot of celebrations are made and according to the customs and traditions the bride enters in an amazing dress. At the very beginning, the bride is treated extraordinarily well and several feasts are held for the celebration too but after some time fights emerge up in the house. Differencing in sects, taunting on dowry, threatening regarding divorce and sometimes the husband’s family starts demanding for money and property. So soon due to all these reasons a happy household is eventually ruined as if marriage is just a joke. If the woman turns to her parents for help against her in law’s injustice, then too the woman’s family suffers from shock and grief. 

Causes of destruction: What are causes of a destroyed household that was once a happy one? One of the major cause is husband’s behavior towards her wife. He often considers her to be his shoe and thinks it is a compulsory obligation on her to agree on whatever her husband says. Although before marriage, the woman and her family are brought into trust that their daughter will rule over her new home. Then afterwards, she is just like a maid to them. However, such situation would not be created if the husband think about how his wife has left her house, her parents, her family and how she has been brought into a new environment and home for which she would be needing time to adjust in. A daughter’s family serves her in laws quite well before and after wedding but after wedding if wife’s relatives come over to her place then the in laws express their anger and hatred upon their arrival. Do not try if the mother-in-law would only consider that the daughter-in-law has come-from a different household, entirely different atmosphere and upbringing of her loving parents into a new house, different atmosphere and people, there she had no responsibilities or worries and now she has to deal with mother and sister-in-laws and has a lot of new duties and responsibilities. If the mother-in-law shows understandings, is reasonable shows love, and treats the daughter-in-law as her own daughter there will be no problems. With her love and understanding attitude, she can get a positive response. The bride should also be loving and caring with a positive attitude towards her new family. She should overlook and ignore little differences and deal patiently with every situation and avoid every kind of friction. The girl’s mother should play a positive role as well and explain to her daughter how to deal with her new relations, help her understand

the new family and her husband and that she should change and adapt herself, because it is the girl who

has to adapt not the husband. Both the husband and wife should respect each other and overlook each other’s

short comings, help and complement each other. (Rabia Qamar, Lahore)

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