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Don’t make the home prison for children

Ubqari Magazine - November 2016

Some children are endearing to their parents. Parents overlook their mistakes by saying that hes just a small child right now. As soon as he will grow up he will get better by himself. Experience has told that they dont get better, instead they become headache. Feed with gold spoon but look with stare of lion.

My one son is Muhammad Abdullah Khan Kosari. It was 1967 when he wanted to appear in wise Arabic and F.A exams. According to him wise Arabic was itself a big exam and doing F.A with it is similar to get failed. I could have agreed to it but this thing was getting on nerves for the child. On the other hand, the mother also used to show eyes to the child and as a result of that, he left the house. Whole house got worried. The sisters were saying, O our brother has gone where? I was silent and the child’s mother was depressed. At last Abdullah come back after 25 days. He said he will give both exams else he will leave the home again. At last we surrendered. He then gave both the exams and got succeeded. This was a gorilla war which was going on in my house and because of whom my child had to run. I, on the basis of this experience say to the parents to never hurt their children’s true feelings. If they are on right way then do motivate them. This only, has the secrets to their success. I have been the headmaster in many schools. On the basis of my 25 years of educational experience I say that don’t make your home troublesome and prison. Don’t scold children every time, don’t show them stave, don’t suppress their true feelings, this breaks their heart, because of this he either stays back in the race of success or leaves his heart completely or even after getting troubled he finds a way to run. Instead of hitting, explain them and in a way that he could understand that you are saying it for his benefit. Accept the child’s permissible demand and reject the unauthorized one through logics. The way should always be kind for instance. If you cannot fulfill his justified wish right now so say him “you are absolutely right we will do it but let just get the situation better”. As a result of that the child will be satisfied and will take part in your pain and grief and happiness and peace. Stop the evil in start but not with hitting from hand but from stare of eyes. Remember! Hitting from hand makes the child disobedient, immodest, long -tongued and dissenter, while stare of eye makes him amendable.

Some children are endearing to their parents. Parents overlook their mistakes by saying that he’s just a small child right now. As soon as he will grow up he will get better by himself. Experience has told that they don’t get better, instead they become headache. Feed with gold spoon but look with stare of lion. This was one rule that is not applicable today in our homes. This is the reason that children are getting spoiled day by day. If a child says something, listen to it carefully and take this suggestion at appropriate time. From this the fire of curiousness will lit in the child and the flames of discussion will light up. Don’t taunt your child in front of others, the child gets stubborn, barefaced and obstinate due to continuous taunting and does not get amendable. The proper solution of it is that the self respect of child should not get hurt and secondly, the ambition to get succeeded also remains there. I remember that one head master started scolding me in front of one friend; I controlled my anger in respect of him. But when head master went in his office so then I also went there and said him: “head master! Don’t you know how to do head mastery; if you were having any problem then you should have called me in your office, not in front of friend”. Don’t taunt openly, this gives such results which I have just discussed. Don’t treat children with rudeness and nitpicking, this makes their self-confidence vanish and this is really a big loss, love the child. But remember, if you accept the child’s demands in love then he will become stubborn in every matter, he will be perverse and stubborn and will reject your suggesting in big matters. When it will come to marriage then he will not accept the girl of your choice etc. Look every child equally, this creates balance in love and no child gets complain. In the house in which parents give special attention to one child, mostly they get the irritation of jealousy, hatred, insurrection and unease fullness. Give the child, a chance to up rise in a pure home, school, environment and society, from this, purity and cleanliness will grow in child and his personality will also get purified. You already know that children are usually imitators. Whatever examples you will present in front of them, they will copy it. The parents who present good examples; their children are good and the parents who creates the environment of scolding and abusive language, their children are mostly ill-mannered, liar, deceitful, hypocrite and elusive. When a child is been caught saying wrong words, tell him “Dear, your mouth has got dirty, wash it so that it could get cleaned, because clean mouth utters good words and dirty mouth utters bad words. Good children say good things, not the bad ones”. Don’t talk to children in loud pitch, talk in soft one, from this the feelings of braveness, boldness and gallantness in child does not get finished and the pearls of courage, stays there. 

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