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Skepticism, the virus disrupting families

Ubqari Magazine - April 2016

(Seeme Zahra)

Skepticism is such a virus that it becomes difficult to get rid of it once it makes its way to one’s mind. It disturbs at the cost of confidence. A skeptic person falls an easy prey to inferiority complex. On the other hand, trust is a golden chain that keeps relationships tied together; make them stronger and the society peaceful. Skepticism and trust are two opposite things which go parallel. Chain of trust starts undoing when skepticism penetrates in relationships. Have you ever noticed that the person who is doubted upon can never end the aura of doubt even if he performs outstandingly? The person who doubts and the person who is doubted upon are both dangerous. How this disorder gets its roots is an important question for every disease requires ambient environment to flourish.

In my opinion skepticism is inherited. Like diabetes, gout and hypertension this disease does not get physically transmitted but through the environment one lives in. There is a great probability for skeptic parents to have skeptic children. A skeptic mother may transmit this habit of doubting to her daughter through her attitude. This habit is found worldwide. Masters doubt their servants, mothers-in-law doubt their daughters-in-law and so on.

When husband doubts wife or wife doubts husband; home becomes hell affecting badly the marital life. And who likes to be in hell? Some husbands come home late and when wives question they blame workload. Husband’s usual reply of partying with friends is no less than a poison for a skeptic wife. Skepticism is also because of low confidence. If a man has nominal physical features he will fall a prey to inferiority complex. This inferiority complex intensifies in case wife is beautiful. Skepticism may lead him to think that since he is not beautiful, his wife may get attracted to any man beautiful than him. While accommodating this thought men completely forget that physical features are secondary for women. Wife is happy and satisfied if a man is intelligent, hardworking and takes keen interest in household affairs. This solves maximum problems of wife.

A philosopher once said about marriage that man marries to fulfill his marital needs; wife’s beauty and other characteristics are secondary; sometimes he falls a prey to her golden locks, sometimes to her blue eyes and sometimes to her height. Whereas on the other hand woman marries to have a family; physical and facial features of man least attract her. All what woman needs is a family, home and an independent life; beautiful husband may be an added advantage. Men do not understand this, they just get impressed by beauty of their wives and start feeling themselves inferior and become skeptic.

Another reason behind this skepticism is age difference. If a younger woman is married to a man much older than her, the man would remain skeptic. An intelligent and faithful wife must not discuss any other man with her husband. This would be no less than igniting a skeptic husband. A skeptic wife keeps an eye on each activity of her husband. When husband takes more time for getting ready and uses fragrance then wife’s doubt gets strengthened. Some women keenly notice clothes of their husbands to find hair of any women. And some even check pockets of their husbands to find photographs of other women. The women whose husbands have secretaries in their offices would be familiar with this doubtful disposition. Another reason of skepticism is ego. Some men are very egoistic. They would consider others ugly if they are beautiful, illiterate if they are educated, poor if they are rich. Writers are more prone to be egoistic. And this egoism lead them to skepticism. Skepticism’s sphere is very wide and it engulfs whole family.

A woman would forget too often. One day she put box containing her ornaments in a cupboard from locker and forgot the other day. After some days when she needed that box she searched in the locker but did not find. She got much worried. She had a servant who had been serving her for twenty years. He had never committed dishonesty even of a single penny. But she started suspecting her servant. She became doubtful of his honesty since money compels many to dishonesty. She informed police and got her servant arrested. Police beat him to confess theft. But he didn’t because he had not committed theft rather have not even seen the locker. One day her daughter opened the cupboard by chance and found that box lying there. Those women felt guilty and requested police to acquit the servant. She asked her servant to forgive her and increased his salary. Interestingly she didn’t stop suspecting even after this incident. Her children were sick of their mother’s habit of forgetting but had accustomed to it.

Some women are in habit of writing diary and are fond of poetry. Due to this habit they are suspected by society. To present oneself a clean slate one has to sacrifice one’s habits. One must take into account one’s own self to assess if one is suffering with inferiority complex owing to the habit of doubting he has inherited or of one’s incompetence. If he has inherited this habit from his family then he can safely get rid of it.

When parents doubt each other, their children and servants, their children may possibly have this habit just to remain mentally upset for rest of their life. We must not practice what our parents have had. If you are suffering from inferiority complex just think that no one is perfect in this world. A person having good qualities do have some bad habits. A rich person may be a miser. A beautiful person may be a stupid. A well-dressed person may boast day in and day out of his wealth. A well educated person may be talkative and ill mannered. There is no person in this world who is perfect and have good qualities alone. Therefore women must not get impressed by other women. If your facial features are nominal but you are well-mannered and good at housekeeping then you need not worry for housekeeping skills outweighs nominal facial features.

Start trusting others, skepticism will be eliminated on its own. Don’t wait for the other person to become trustworthy. There is always risk associated with trusting others but you cannot get rid of this fear without taking some risk. A person asked a cool minded person of the secret behind his complacency? The man answered, “I prefer trusting and getting bluffed and I have never been bluffed by whom I have trusted upon.”

Trust begets trust. Trusting others will boost your confidence. If you trust someone and ask him to guard your house, you in fact vest him with the responsibility of safeguarding the humanity. He might not cheat you and become a responsible citizen. And in case he cheats you, you will be rendered no harm but that person will be exposed as a dishonest man. Trust is such a golden chain that strengthens relations.



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