I completed my Masters in Arts and started teaching in a college, family started worrying about my marriage and then I got committed into an unknown family. My husband works in a private company while I've decided to stay at home completely. At first he seemed of a very good nature but now when he comes back from work he stays quiet. I overheard him discussing a problem with one of his friends over the phone. I felt bad thinking, wife is also a friend so why does he have to hide his problems from me. So I also stopped talking to him. Now we live in the same house but look like strangers. (Saman - Rawalpindi)
Answer: You just got married; he wouldn't want you to get upset over his problem just now. Now imagine if he shares a problem everyday you will get bizarre in no time. Now if you really want him to share his problems and comfort him then don't stop talking to him, prove yourself, prove him what a good and trustworthy friend you're. If he'll ever share something you'll listen to it patiently. Whenever there is some unrest in the house you must sit together and sort out the problem and try to resolve the issue. Keeping in mind each others mental situation, one must talk be honest, sincere and sweetly.
Eyes shine:
Many people including our own relatives suffered during the worst ever earthquake in Pakistan in the year 2005. A girl from our relatives, who's breathtakingly beautiful lost both of her legs and now after several treatments she is better but wheel-chaired and that's how she does work. One day I read her diary and I got inspired of her, thought I should make her my life partner but I can't say that to my family. Everyone will get mad at me for choosing a paralyzed girl. But I don't even think about anyone else because I shared my thoughts with her and her eyes started shining like stars with hope and glee! Now if I don't fulfill my promise I wonder what she will end up doing because she is already suffering from inferiority complex due to her current situation. (Yusuf - Muzaffarabad)
Answer: If you've made up your mind and ready to do this good act then talk to your family, convince them, you'll definitely end up making them realize you don't want to marry anyone other than this girl. While deciding, you need to realize that you yourself won't let her wheel-chair come in between your happiness. You'll face every challenge with patience and an open mind. Such matters are not something to lean on for the time being but also something you've to spend your whole life fulfilling. If you end up marrying her and succeed in keeping her happy inspite of this wheel chair, she'll definitely get over this inferiority complex and you'll also set a positive example in the society!
State of loneliness:
I sent my kids abroad for a better future. I've one daughter and now she is married too. My husband is gone off to the village to live with his first wife. I feel he'd spend the rest of his life there. State of loneliness, Old age sickness, shortage of money, and these thoughts scare the hell out of me all the time. I'm healthy yet I feel sick, children are far but they all take care of me. And still I feel my health is getting worse with every passing day. And I feel weak. ( Naseem Sehar - Sialkot)
Answer: If you consider yourself weak you'll end up getting weak just the way people who consider themselves healthy get better even if they're sick. And you're fine, you decided your children's future yourself so stay content. You major issue is loneliness; now if you start meeting friends and family, this problem will be resolved too. Good hobbies help in order to spend a good life. You should read good books, write letters to your kids though writing letters is considered old school now and telephones have replaced it but it has it's own charm. One can express more deeply through this. Whenever you feel blue, suspicious or depressed, pray for your children's betterment. Make dua, that's how heart and mind finds rest.
The weird feeling of spring:
A beautiful sight makes me cry. Like scenery on a wall, with drawings of night, evenings, spring, colorful drawings, trees, all this depresses me. I myself don't know why my heart softens, eyes get wet and I start weeping the moment I look at such pictures, even if it's just the picture of a school or hospital. Got engaged to a pretty girl but I don't feel like getting married to her. Every time I think about her my head starts spinning and I feel I don't have much time to live. (Shah Sikander - Attock)
