Why the girl seems like a fairy before marriage and seems witch after marriage? Why she losses her gratitude from the heart and why is she taunted? Perhaps it is the reason that before being a mother-in-law she is a wife and mother. The whole family turns around her; in every matter her opinion is important. No work is done without her consultation. Now she has the fear that lest the daughter-in-law should grab her position.
On the other side, when a daughter-in-law comes in new home, she has many dreams about her new home and she gets the chance to make those true after getting married. Therefore, she wants that she would be the entire queen of the house so that she can decorate and handle the every matter of home as per her wishes and desires. In this regard when she is advised a good thing, she considers it as her humiliation and then the emotions of hate against her mother-in-law starts growing up in her heart. It is said about the mother-in-law and daughter-in-law that as two swords cannot be kept in one sheath, similarly they cannot live together if they live together then there is always a quarrel between them. Therefore it is the opinion of the specialists that the most of the marriages get failure just because of women, because this is a woman, who makes and destroys the home whether she is a mother-in-law or daughter-in-law. Keeping in view all these realities we can say that the basic reason between such relation of mother-in-law and daughter-in-law is hate and enmity. Can’t they have a relation of friendship between them?
It is not a final opinion that the mother-in-law and daughter-in law cannot live together because if they have a little struggle then they can eliminate the hate and enmity between them and can create a relation of friendship and love between them which will impose a positive and pleasant effect on their domestic life and their home will become an ideal home. People will see them with languishing, for this they should act upon on the following things; mother-in-law should consider the daughter-in-law as her own daughter. As she cannot think about to tease her daughter similarly she should not tease her daughter-in-law. If she makes some mistake then mother-in-law should forgive her. Instead of scolding her, she should get her understood with love and admire her good work so that she is encouraged. In domestic matters she should also be consulted so that she should consider her a member of the family and should take interest in family matters. Mother-in-law shouldn’t tell the disputes of home to relatives and neighbors.
Daughter-in-law should also take care of some things; she should pay similar attention to all family members along with her husband. She should take care of desires and needs of everybody. If she makes a mistake then she should instantly rectify it. Instead of being inspired by the dialogues of people she should try to know the reality herself. She should not tell the disputes of in-laws to her parents, in this way the dispute is heightened and enmities get birth between the two families.
If the mother-in-law and daughter-in-law pay attention towards these things then their relation can be changed into friendship. Keep an eye on the good qualities of each other instead of keeping eye on the deficiencies of each other because every human being is a collection of bad and good habits, somewhere good things are overcome and somewhere the element of bad things is more. In order to make the relations good, it is suggested by the specialists that you should see the good qualities of a person. Otherwise there comes crack between the relations if you consider the bad habits of a person. (Naimat Jahan)
COME! LET’S VALUE OUR WIFE
Do you know that a woman does work of 18 men? She is the in-charge of the kitchen of your home, she is domestic washerwoman, she brooms and mops the home and she is also a maid of home. A man came to Hazrat Umar (رضی اللہ عنہ) with complaint of his wife that I am very much teased; she has made my life difficult. When the man reached on the door of Hazrat Umar (رضی اللہ عنہ) with him he listened that the wife of Hazrat Umar (رضی اللہ عنہ) was talking to him in harsh accent. The man got surprised. Hazrat Umar (رضی اللہ عنہ) jugged his thought and said to him that she is the maid of my home and also she is washerwoman of my home, if sometimes she talks to you in harsh accent then you should bear it. The man came back without speaking anything.
Your wife is the Gardner of your home, she is watchwoman and if the woman is in home then the door of home is opened and if woman is not in home then the door of home is closed. Your wife is a nanny for your children, she is a teacher of children, the lap of mother is the first school for the baby, your wife is the accountant of your house, she polishes your and children’s shoes daily, she is also a tailor, she sews the clothes of children and stitches the buttons of shirts herself. Your wife is also a psychologist for you, if you are facing some problem she stands with you.
A man wrote his story that when Bangladesh came into existence then me, my wife and children left Dhaka and came to Pakistan, the both pockets of my shirt were empty whereas in Dhaka I had my own petrol stations. I had arrived in my brother’s home in Karachi after leaving everything. I had the disappointment of extreme level but my wife said that I have learnt the way of spending life from my husband, whenever we are disappointed then he stands up with a mountain like courage. Then I thought if my wife is with me in this time of difficulty then I don’t have need to get worried. I took some loan from my brother and started the business again. Allah blessed me as much that after five years I had my own 400 trucks. A little mollification of a woman has made me a successful businessman. The woman has made a great favor to this Ummah, at the time of first revelation a great woman the mother of Muslims Hazrat Khadija
(رضی اللہ عنہا) mollified the Holy Prophet (صلی اللہ علیہ وسلم).
Your wife is the administrator of your house; she keeps everything properly and safely and uses the things with care. Your wife is also a Doctor; she makes treatment of small diseases for you and your children with domestic tips. Your wife is also a saint (Aamil) for your home; she performs namaz, recites the Holy Quran and commendations. For the livelihood of husband she is the most worried person. (Imtiaz Haider Awan, Karachi)
