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When The Language of Children Deteriorates

Ubqari Magazine - September 2014

When the parents hear swearing and abusive language from the mouths of their 4 year old children they acknowledge that it is too late now due to their ignorance.

Farooq Ansaari

A child is the shadow of his parents. He learns every style of life from his house. In our religion when a child is born Azaan is said in his ears. So that when the child may learn the first word of life, he may acknowledge the one who has created him. The sentences , words and abusive language of the parents also enter his ears. All of this is a matter of input and output. What ever is input to the ears of the child, he sends it out as output from his lips. What ever the child learns from his elders that becomes engraved on his mind. And then if there is any opportunity or not, he repeats them. Fear is a basic instinct of humans. In order to stop the child from bad things, he is scared from the beginning of his life. "Do not do this, do not do that, otherwise your father will beat you. Or Allah will punish you." Similarly if truth has to be learnt from a child then parents teach him to swear upon God (Allah).

As the child grows up, he forgets the fear of Allah and the old man. Because he understands that for many of the mistakes he makes, Allah or baba will not come. But he uses swearing upon Allah to save him. To make the child understand the perils of lying in a small age is similar to climbing himalayas. Thus, the child makes a mistake and then he swears and takes refuge in lying and swearing.

If there are more children in a house and if the age difference among them is less then mutual disputes and swearing becomes apparent among them as opposed to their parents. When the parents hear swearing and abusive language from the mouths of their 4 year old children they acknowledge that it is too late now due to their ignorance. What is the benefiting of regretting now when the birds have grazed the whole field. So at this stage it becomes difficult to guide the children. And then they start grooming them again by thinking that it is not too late. Have you parents ever thought like this. If not then keep an eye on your children from now. And observe that where are you making a mistake? Has your child learnt this bad mouthing from you?

The conversation of children is inspired from their parents and surrounding environment. In this regard the children do such things to gain attention as well. They speak sentences that the elders utter. In this regard those parents are absolutely astonished who are weary of grooming their children well. Those parents have no solution but to consult a mental health expert. The mutual haggles between the parents, slandering, swearing and abusing each other not only dumbfounds the children, rather they unconsciously repeat these words due to mental stress. And when they are angry about something, they repeat these words. This type of a behavior is called as conduct disorder by psychologists. Bad behaviors and bad language is pursued by children despite firm control of parents and teachers. And in such cases the child also learns other bad habits apart from abusing.

Research suggests that the level of new chemicals is less in such a case that creates these problems. Mental stress and insecurity makes the children ill tempered.

To remove negative symptoms from the children is not easy for the parents. They would definitely have to show the children to mental health experts. Those parents who cannot give expensive fees to mental health experts there are certain instructions for them. But first they should have a look at the bad habits of their children. You should have good awareness of the bad effects of media on your child. Children have an inclination to follow the elders or to copy their favorite actors. So much so that they even mimic their favorite cartoons.

Children learn most of their conversations from their maids, bus drivers, servants or aunts. Like this they leaner bad words from their neighborhood as well. Many civilized parents are also quite bad mouthed as well. They treat their servants and drivers with swearing and bad words. The children the use of these words from them. In order to correct this the parents would firt of al have to correct themselves. Never fight with each other in front of the parents. Neither should you abuse your child in front of anyone. If you have television in your house, never watch it with your children.

Scrutinize your children well. With whom your children play in the colony. If they abuse or are ill mannered, never allow your children to play with them. Rather spare some time and go out with them and play with them. Or make an arrangement indoors so that the child may play with you inside the house. go to the school of the child after every week and take a report from his teacher or principal after every week and ask about his behavior.

Give at least half an hour to the child every day. And in this half an hour tell the child about nice stories. Tell them about good stories about Hazrat Muhammad (PBUH) and companions (RA) and Aulia Allah (RA). By the will of Allah by following the aforementioned advice soon your child will abandon swearing and bad mouthing.

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