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Unbreakable bonds and tenderness of relationships

Ubqari Magazine - June 2014

(Shahid Hussain, Islamabad)

According to a psychiatrist, in case of divorce it is necessary to adopt healthy activities rather than cursing the fate. Keep yourself busy otherwise sweet and kindling memories are associated with everything around, then how can you avoid these feelings.

Today’s modern society had been progressing rapidly due to the agricultural revolution but it entangled in the crisis of capitalism. If the global economy deteriorates, essentially the first target it affects is the common man and his family. Either unemployment increases or moral values are affected; all such conditions lead to anxiety and social rebellion. Due to the increasing communal concerns, the geography of a family unit also changes. Either you are a housewife, a student, daughter, sister or a mother, in every relationship there are a lots of expectation from you. However, a woman is known to be more generous and self-sacrificing and loyalty is her second nature. Due to the current financial and economic crisis, getting job according to one’s qualification and standard is next to impossible. Old jobs are not gold bricks to be protected in the lockers. In case of worse business conditions, it becomes a requirement of the entrepreneurs to downsize the employees. Your responsibilities increase if you are wife, sister or mother of any such person.

Demonstrate interest to maintain the relations:

In life, there would always be a conflict between pleasures and hardships. As it is said that, “sometimes there are sorrows and sometimes joys.” What you have to do is to bear their irritable tone. We know that it’s not so easy especially when someone attacks your self-respect. Your character is suspected, some weak moment of your past comes under criticism or someone of your own crosses all the limits in cursing you. In recent times the divorce rate has increased because husband and wife very quickly become disappointed with each other’s personality. They keep looking for some miracle to happen so that their lives could change overnight. They lose patience very quickly and start showing dislike for each other’s moods, attitudes and habits. They keep thinking about changing their track. Either they spend their time like strangers or curse each other and finally decide to free each other through sharia and law.

Give and take policy:

All relationships are determined by the policy of give and take. If you are a housewife and cannot make any investments from material point of view, you can always put your efforts in domestic chores, cooking, children’s upbringing and their homework, husband’s needs and in solving common household problems. If you can pay utility bills, if you do not make wrong use of credit card and handle with such domestic tasks your husband had to do. It is such a support to your husband perhaps every woman cannot do.

If men think that even a cook can make food it means they want to say that what women do at home? It’s a very cruel and selfish comment. Wife’s role cannot be apprehended in domestic issues rather a home is run properly only because of woman’s strategy.

A relationship should not be a burden:

Flowers are tremendously delicate but they do not separate from their hard, rough and thorny branches. Rather they grow and prosper with these branches. So do not go after the toughness of the branch, consider the delicacy of flower and romanticism of your relationship. Make some space in your heart to listen to each other’s problems and try to create a pleasant environment. Do not demand only for your needs to be fulfilled. It would not be a minor virtue if you save something for your husband or wife. If a relationship is not evaluated on strict measures, it would rejuvenate. Adopt flexible attitude and your relationship would be more established and long lasting.

Strategies to strengthen the relations:

Pay attention to your physical features; take good diet, have a sound sleep, do exercise and improve your physical health through different massages. It is not essential to torture each other to express your anger and self-confidence. A renowned psychologist says that during emotional and economic crisis you must associate with each other and bridge the differences. Get up early in the morning, say prayer, recite the Quran, go for a walk and chat with your friends. Avoid mental fatigue tasks and quit all the friends and relatives who undermine your self-esteem. According to a psychiatrist, in case of divorce it is necessary to adopt healthy activities rather than cursing the fate. Keep yourself busy otherwise sweet and kindling memories are associated with everything around, then how can you avoid these feelings. Be determined, say five times prayer, spend time in remembrance of Allah, play sports or write something. Try to change your environment.

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