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Everlasting Strategies for Children to Quit Lying

Ubqari Magazine - June 2014

Sofia, Lahore

Instead of creating circumstances in which a child is compelled to acknowledge that he/she lied or to try to affirm that the child lied with different excuses, it is more beneficial for the parents that they devise a strategy to stop the children from lying the next time.

Lying is a bad habit. And normally children become victims of this bad habit. However, if the parents do not whittle out this habit of lying from their children from the beginning then by the passage of time, as they age, this habit becomes chronic. undoubtedly, the children start lying from a small age due to trivial things. But if this is not corrected this becomes wider and becomes a cause of big crimes and other severe social perils. Those children who have the best familial atmosphere available to them and those whose parents focus a lot on their moral upbringing, they also acquire a habit of lying sometimes. In our society the moral values are gradually decaying at the hands of increasing materialism. People are busy in using right and wrong methods to acquire material benefits that they cannot spare time for their children. Due to lack of attention by the parents the environment in which the children are groomed affects their upbringing negatively. Thus, it should be tried that just as we spare time for worldly affairs, similarly we spare time for grooming our children. So that as they grow up they become useful children of the society.

Some parents assert that if they force their children, they would acknowledge if they lied and similarly they will correct as well. But in different research this has come to knowledge that if the child is persuaded to abandon a habit forcefully, it becomes a cause of further problems. Instead of rehabilitating, he/she acquires more bad habits.

Instead of creating circumstances in which a child is compelled to acknowledge that he/she lied or to try to affirm that the child lied with different excuses, it is more beneficial for the parents that they devise a strategy to stop the children from lying the next time. For example if the child comes home late from school or if he/she is busy in playing with the children or if he returns home late in the evening, you can say, "Ok! I forgive you today but I am not ready to listen to any excuse again. I worry about your well being. So when you are likely to come home late, you will have to seek permission before you leave home." Like this the child would become more confident that if he would tell the truth, he would not be penalized. And like this his/her habit of lying would also subside slowly.

This must be remembered that children always take influence from the  elders. Till the time the elders would not abandon telling the truth, how can the children abandon lying?

Often it can be observed in the houses that when you do not wish to meet anyone or if you do not wish to talk to anyone on phone, you would comfortably say to the child, "Son! Tell them that I am not home." Apparently this is a very small thing, but its effects are very deep. Thus, for the grooming of children we shall have to correct ourselves too. The habit of abandoning lying is quite difficult but it is not impossible. If we act upon the following points, it would become impossible for the children to lie. 1. Explain to the children affectionately that lying is a bad habit. If upon explaining for the first time they do not refrain then they should be scared a liars face becomes black. Allah Almighty does not like a liar. That he puts him in fire, or that his tongue burns. Very small children become fearful of this and abandon lying. 2. If the child maintains the habit of lying, warn him that he should not make the same mistake again, or that he would be punished severely. 3. Upon telling the truth or refraining from lying buy for a child their favorite things such as candies, chocolates, biscuit or a toy that they dearly like so that they become happier and always tell the truth upon thinking that they get presents upon being truthful too. 4. Lying is such a bad habit that every religion of the world has despised it severely. Specially in our religion has described many of its perils very thoroughly. In Quran-e-majeed also Allah Almighty has shown quite a lot of displeasure for lying. Hazrat Muhammad (PBUH) also stopped people from telling lies.

Once a person came to Hazrat Muhammad (PBUH) who was quite sinful. He said to you (PBUH) that, "O Rasool Allah (PBUH)! How can I be forgiven? Because I do all the bad things and cannot leave them as well." Hazrat Muhammad (PBUH) said, "You should make a solemn promise to not lie again. That person made that promise. It is said that that person became very pious and righteous and he abandoned all the bad things too. It is commonly seen that nobody trusts a liar. And even if he says a truth once in a while people do not consider it to be correct. A liar is considered a fraudulent, swindler and cunning. No body respects him. Every one tries to remain away from him. This is because he/she has lost his/her trust. So if you explain to the children like this, the child would understand and repent for future. InshaAllah.

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