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WAYS TO AGGRAVATE THE FLAMES OF LOVE

Ubqari Magazine - May 2013

Shumaila Ali Hassan 

“In the initial days after my marriage, a conservative and elderly relative adjudged me as a very caring wife as when in a scorching noon, while my husband arrived at home sweating, I made him sit in a chair and presented him with cold water.”

Three years after the marriage between Iqra and Zahid, Iqra started to have a feeling of stagnation in her life. Now Zahid also gave less attention to her. Though she did not have any complaints against Zahid for he was a very good husband, yet Iqra would find her marital life burdensome. Her only son was a remedy for her boredom but she was unable to feel the fulfillment from a husband’s affection.

If after a few years of marriage you feel that your husband’s love has reduced as compared to initial days, do not get worried. May be you sigh in despair remembering the days when both of you had all the time for each other. But since now you have become parents, you find very less time for each due to involvement with the children and other routine commitments. Nevertheless there are still some steps, adopting which you can keep your husband’s love revived forever. May be as a good and wise wife you may already be practicing these advices, however, there’s no harm in reiterating them.

KEEP YOURSELF GOOD LOOKING

Keep yourself presentable in front of your husband. A Hadith-e-Mubarak state: ‘A good wife is the one, looking at her whose husband feels happy.’ Don’t let yourself become obese especially after giving birth to children. This does not only affect your capabilities to work but also a series of ailments can also attack you consequently. Naturally such condition will become a cause of anguish and botheration for your husband. If you keep your body smart and active, you will not only be saved from these problems but will also look good in all types of outfits due to appropriate weight.

MAKE REALIZE YOUR LIFE PARTNER

Use clothes having of your partner’s favouritecolours. This thing will make him realize while beautifying your personality, you keep his choices under consideration. Your hair style should also be according to your face cut. To keep yourself fresh and revitalized, all these are most feasible vis-à-vis expenses.

GREET YOUR HUSBAND

When the husband arrives home, greet him with a smile. Happiness on your face and an attractive smile is enough to subside his entire day’s tiredness. In summers, offer him with cold drinks. He will feel happy for how caring you are. This is true that such small acts bring husband and wife closer. In the initial days after my marriage, a conservative and elderly relative adjudged me as ‘a very caring wife’ as when in a scorching noon, while my husband arrived at home sweating, I made him sit in a chair and presented him with cold water.

COOK HIS FAVOURITE FOOD

In his spare time give him a book of his choice to read. If he is habitual to spread his clothes and other belongings in the entire house, without making any hue and cry gather his things. He will remain happy like a ‘king’. On holidays making food of his liking will also be excellent. In normal days also simple food should also be garnished with side dishes like pickles, chutneys, confiture, yogurt or salad etc.  If you arrive with a plate of Qorma (curry) in one hand and Roti (bread) in the other, he will presume that you lack both the time for him and finesse.

TAKE INTEREST IN HIS HOBBIES

Express your happiness on whatever he does to make you happy. Never show a negative attitude. Show your delight on every gift he presents no matter how inexpensive it may be. Buy something for him from your pocket money as well and take interest in his hobbies. Admire his good habits so as he feels that you possess an observant eye and a sensitive heart. Remember the days of the year which are important for him and celebrate them like Eid and also remind children that how these memorable moments keep a family together. Love asks for attention, satisfaction and expression. The way you desire him to take care of you, he also needs your love and attention.

DON’T CRITICIZE HIM IN FRONT OF OTHERS

Do not immediately disagree with his liking or disliking. Neither criticize him in front of other members of the family. Although your in-laws might be naïve to believe their son has no shortcoming. As a wife you can remain patient and contented to make him feel that you selflessly love him. Never lodge his complaints to his mother or sister as this will bring down your own self. Relation between a mother and son will not be crevassed.No matter if someone does not agree with this, but the fact remains that during every day matters, some bitterness do occur between daughter in law, mother in law and sister in law. As a daughter in law, you must always remember that they are not your real blood relatives who can forgive every mistake of yours. Thus bear all types of circumstances for thesake of the person who has brought you to his house with respect.He did not abuse your name like the so called lovers do; rather he has given honor to it.

KEEP THE HOUSE TIDY

If you are sensible and educated than instead of becoming a burden, share the responsibilities of your husband. Saying this does not mean that you start earning like your husband. But taking your child to hospital for vaccination or in case of their sickness will prevent him from being mentally and physically absent from the office. Thus he can make his performance better. Men like to see an orderly and tidy home. Your neat house is reflective of your aesthetic taste. It is also essential to decorate a house with beautiful colours and give special attention to keep it cleaned and organized. If you have a veranda or porch in your house, then every one will admire your taste after watching beautiful flowers and evergreen plants there. Your home will also look like heaven. Make your husband the centre of your life and make him realize by obeying all his commands that you are entirely his asset. In your husband’s absence, safeguarding his property and honour is your responsibility, so never lose this confidence of him. There are many ways to relight the extinguished flames of love but you devise a single strategy in peace. Never consider marriage as a burden, rather highlight its importance and beauty. The home is yours, children are yours. Just remember husband is a person who provides you a cool shadow while himself remaining under the sun. Therefore whatever you do for his peace and comfort he deserves more than that. 

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